Establishing Professional Theology, where its Christian leaders go out into their communities and minister to the unchurched believers, is not without a bit of unplanned drama sometimes. The four-walls of traditional churches offer some protection from surprises at more formal events; Pastors must always be alert to the unplanned happenings that can quickly pop up in formal ceremonies outside.
Officiation at my granddaughter’s wedding, exposed to the forces of nature on a deck overlooking the Clearwater National Forest and the Clearwater River flowing provided many good memories for attendees. I counseled the bride and groom that almost every marriage ceremony there are always a few hiccups that memories are built upon. They believe me now.
The bride was so beautiful walking down the aisle to join her tearful groom. They had courted each other for a year, and had done everything right in that courtship to ensure that they were legitimately joined by God as husband and wife. And the bride had planned every part with exacting detail, and demanded all of her supporters to follow her lead precisely.
As the bride’s hands were placed in the grooms, I had to pause for a few moments just so they could gain their composure before we began the formal ceremony. Suddenly, without warning, the bride gasped, and looked to me with an anxiousness that I knew something was terribly wrong. She dropped the hands of her beloved and started squirming gently, then much more than that, as she tried to signal to me what was wrong. Finally communicating to me that a bee had flown into her bosom and was crawling further and further into the places no one would want to be stung. Her husband-to-be responded quickly, and reached out to help his beloved remove the insect before it took a bite out of her. She slapped his hands away, reached into her bosom, deeply, and pulled out the offending bee without a sting. The bride’s family had no idea what had happened; the groom’s family members were trying to hold in their laughter.
Later, I asked the bride what thoughts she had as the drama unfolded. She said her first fear was being stung; but then, when she saw her groom began to reach into her bosom and find the offender, all she could think of is protecting their honor and go fishing in her bosom by herself, since the vows had not yet been shared. She imagined how some of the elderly folks would react if her groom had reached inside and aggressively searched for the offender.
So as she was squirming, I was trying to figure out as the officiant how to protect the sanctity of the event and still go after that ornery bee that must have been seconds away from a sting. Finally, after wiggling and readjusting things inside her dress, the bride found the offender, pulled it out and sent it flying away without a sting. But, you can be assured that every witness, every family member upon finding out about the squirm has joked about the “boo-bee” that created such a ruckus on that beautiful and hot day by the river in the wilderness of Idaho.
